Last night I was checking myself out in the mirror and I think I caught a glimpse of what may be a buttock. Or it could just be a pimple, I don't know.

I asked my wife what she thought, and she confirmed that, Yes, my ass is growing back. Well, she may have actually said something like, Yes, you are an ass with a hairy back. I can't be sure, I don't always listen all that well, but I am excited at the thought that I may be getting back my gluteus maximus after losing it during a foolish fitness phase a few months ago.

I'd like to thank you for all your support during this difficult time. None of you bastards actually sent me any money, as requested, to help buy the truckload of chocolate required to help grow my ass back, but your kind words of encouragement were still welcome.

Praise chocolate.