I loved the movie. But if it had turned out to be an Overhyped Sux-Fest, it would have been worth going just to hear that confused Lord of the Rings query.
Anyway, for those who haven’t yet seen Star Wars III, I shall now reveal the ending:
Mastication.
Ha!!!
It was refreshing to see that NZ isn’t the only country that is always getting confused with Australia.
I love Australia. It’s just the people I can’t stand.
(I’m kidding guys. I have way too many Australian friends to not be joking. I just get pissed off every time a NZer does something great and then You claim them as your own. “Sir Edmond Hillary – the guy who conquered Mt Everest? Oh yeah, he’s Australian. He once stayed in Sydney for two weeks, so that’s close enough”)
I live in a place known as Futureland. That is because, as I write this, it is currently Friday. But, if you are reading it at the same time, it is at least two hours earlier, possibly even a whole day earlier (i.e. Thursday). You people are So Yesterday.This often makes it difficult when friends in The States make jokes about things that they’ve just seen on TV. The problem is, that if something is made in Yesterdayland (e.g. the USA), then it is actually made in Futureland’s past. Which means we need to use our Time Machines to go back into the past and get those movies, t.v. programs, commercials, etc and bring them back into our Present Time in order to watch them and get The Joke.
The problem is, the Government has been wasting tax payer funds on giving themselves pay rises instead of upgrading the time machines, which are now slow and old.
This means that the only movie we have seen before the rest of the world lately was Lord of The Rings, because it was made right here in Futureland (aka DayLaterLand).
Anyway, for those who were wondering about The Future, I can inform you that the world hasn’t ended and morons still populate the planet. Rest easy, friends.
Hippocritamus - a big, fat, smelly hypocrite.
Do you ever wonder whether people with disabilities brag about their handicap when they’re playing golf?
Here’s what’s on the back of my business card. I shit you not:
It sez:
What the critics say:
“You’re just a fucking clown.”
- Gang Member, KFC dispute, Northland.
“If you plead guilty now, you probably won’t go to jail.”
- A lawyer mistakes me for his client, Waitakere District Court.
“I consider myself to have a sense of humour, but this goes too far.
I would like it to stop.”
- (Name of company removed) co-worker, harassment complaint.
“You’re just being a dick D(-Man). You’re just being a dick…”
- Younger brother, boo-hoo, can’t take a joke.
Today’s Kung Fu Speak Week gem:
“If you smell a fart, don’t automatically blame the guy who just left the room. But if it was in fact You, by all means, blame the guy who just left because they make an excellent scapegoat.”
