Judy Bailey is the mother of our nation.

She’s been presenting New Zealand's TVOne news for about 95 years now and she still looks H.O.T.
She’s worth every bit of the $800,000 a year they pay her.

What refined conversation might she have overheard while dining on Auckland’s North Shore on the weekend?

Perhaps, something a little like this:

“A Brazilian? No, people think that’s what a Brazilian is, but there is actually still a small strip left behind…”

“I don’t think I could handle a 12 Inch…”

“Mmmm, Blue Vein. Heh-heh.”

“Nobody wants to shag a skeleton! When the wife dies, I won’t be like those Japanese freaks that keep the corpse in the bed next to them. No, she’ll have her dead ass kicked out of bed and replaced just like … that!”

“So you’re saying you think a 12-inch Blue Vein would be too much for you…?”

“Blue Vein. Heh-heh.”

But that’s what you get when you sit at the table next to me and my friends, I guess.
All Class.

A wee while back, someone here did a piss-take cover of the Androids song, Do It With Madonna, but changed the lyrics and made it "Do Judy Bailey".

It included classic lines, like:

“She gives me the good news every day
And some great head…
Lines.”

That song was going through my head the ENTIRE TIME we were in the restaurant.
It took every single ounce of self control I didn’t realise I had to not externalise that melody.
OK, I may have hummed a couple of bars.