You know how some guys get bald patches on their heads?
I have one somewhere else as well...

I used to have a clean-shaven chest.
Not because I liked showing off my SIX PACK or dressing up as a woman, or anything like that.
No.
D-Missus likes That Look, and guys -- Chorus with me here -- “It’s all about what the ladies want!”.
Word.

(Well that’s the story I’m sticking with…)

Anyway, the Webmiztris over at Tiny Voices In My Head has just done a post talking about how she bought a wax product to shave some part of her body (it doesn’t say where…) and went through all the pain of applying the hot wax and removing it, only to discover the product removed no hair at all.

I too have had similar experiences.

I have tried waxing my chest.
Never worked. All pain, no gain. Or maybe that should be “all pain, no loss”.

I have tried plucking my chest.
It took for mutha-painful ever. By time I finally got to the last hair, the rest of the ones I’d removed had re-grown.

I’ve shaved my chest. Result: ingrown hairs; nearly shaved off a nipple; hair grows back two days later.

I’ve even tried that “magic” hair remover stuff where you apply it and the hair is meant to disappear. “Forever”.

Well it did. But only in this one patch a little larger than a 50c piece on my residing between my pectoral muscles.

So now that I’ve gone back to being a hairy bastard again, I have this ridiculous looking bald patch looking back at me that I have to keep combing over.

I wonder if anyone makes chest wigs?

Pictures of breasts on the internet? I had no idea such things were possible!

*(Because my planet is a day ahead of the rest of all you living-in-the-past Losers, I have instead renamed this day Wahooo Wednesday!)

If you are driving a white vehicle today, I can reliably inform you that you are statistically more likely to be in serious need of having your licence revoked, OR having your eyeballs surgically removed from your ass and re-attached somewhere that will enable you to actually see the road.