Crazy talk.
I know some of you are still having trouble getting your heads around the fact that it is currently Friday as I write this, but for most of you it is still Thursday.
And tomorrow it is Saturday for me, but you'll still be working, what with it being Friday and all. Ha. Ha.
Think of it like this – you know how like at school there were classes for the advanced kids, classes for those considered normal, classes for those Not So Bright, and Special Ed classes?
That’s how the Earth is.
All the bright and talented people, who can operate pretty independently without teacher-intervention, live in New Zealand.
Our reward is being the first nation to see the new day’s sun.
Australia’s parents had money, so while they really should have been in Special Ed, God did a bit of a shuffle and put them in a Not-so-advanced-but-still-pretty-bright class. They see the sun second.
And so on and so forth. Those who are a bit slow don't see the new day's sun until a day later.
(Work out how you fit into the wider scale of things by consulting a globe.)
What this means for those of you living in Yesterday Land and are worried about things like The End Of The World, is that you can call someone in NZ and simply ask whether there is still a future.
If you phone me and get a disconnected signal, it is a pretty good sign that the world has ended and Judgement Day is upon us. Put on a clean pair of underpants, kiss your pets goodbye.
Or it might mean that I’ve failed to pay my phone bill.
Again.
Either way, it’s not a good sign.
Crazy Talk
Professional Drunk Blogger: “There’s really no way to adjust the underwire of your bra without looking like a Ho, is there?”D-Man: “That’s why I encourage chicks to embrace barlessness.”
D-Man: “No, wait – I meant BRAlessness. BARlessness is just crazy talk. Crazy!”.
Professional Drunk Blogger:“Oh my GOD! I think my heart just stopped there for a second, thinking about BARlessness. Gah!”
D-Man: “A world without beer is like a pub without beer.”
Professional Drunk Blogger:“ HAHAHAHAA! I need to embroider that on a pillow. Also, will need to know how to embroider.”
D-Man: “Just write it on a beer coaster and cellotape it to your pillow. I find the scent of stale beer helps me sleep.”
Professional Drunk Blogger:“Heehee! (Burp)”
A pub without beer is like my fridge without beer. Crazy Talk. Such thoughts defy logic and beggars belief. Gah!
You know how soft drink cans have that little metal tab thingee that you lever to open the can?
And then you wiggle it a bit more, so it falls into the can?
And then you’re taking that final big gulp to finish off the contents?
And then you accidentally swallow the soft drink tab?
No?
Never mind.
(The company nurse said it would probably “pass through” in due course and that I should “monitor things” to make sure it came out.)
Ewww.
At any rate, I forgot to do this.
I guess the only way I’ll find out whether the tab got ejected from my body will be next time I go through one of those airport security metal detectors.
Your Stars:
