I was bored, so I just randomly typed
"I swallowed petrol" in to Google.

Out of nearly 90,000 possible petrol swallowing sites in the whole web wide world, guess which one was ranked at the top.

Just guess.

Yep:

Someone is having a laugh.

You mean to tell me that all of a sudden D-Man Bites Dog has somehow become the planet’s leading authority on ingesting inflammable liquids?

There MUST be people dumberer than me out there.
Surely.

Surely?

Dear Diary,

So THAT’S what a day without alcohol feels like.

I don’t see what the big deal is, really.

Oh well.
At least I can say I’ve tried it.

One more thing off my list, I guess...