One of the guys at work has been off work for a couple of weeks.

He’s been in hospital.

We’ve been having an office sweepstake to guess what he’s got.

He’d just returned from a 12-week drunken bus tour of Europe.

Some of the bets included:

• Liver disease.
  
• Jaundice
  
• Glandular fever
  
• Hepatitis A
  
• Hepatitis B
  
• Hepatitis C
  
• Bird Flu.
  
• Slept with a monkey.
  

He returned to work today.
I bumped into him in the corridor.

Me: “Dude! I heard you were dead!”

Him: (Nervous laughter). “No, I just have cancer.”

Me: “Ha! You’re so funny! You’re a funny guy! Cancer! Where do you come up with them?!”.

He really does crack me up.

So anyway, the doctors discovered a malignant tumour in a testicle. I don't know if it was the left, or the right.

He’s in his 20s and is now at the top of a list for urgent surgery. He finds out tomorrow when his date with the knife will be.

This presents a dilemma for me.
I picked his name out of a hat for Secret Santa.
What do I now buy a guy who's already getting such fantastic Christmas presents, like getting one of your nuts chopped off, and a probable course of chemotherapy? Etc.

It’s got to be $5 or less, though.

I'll probably just end up going to the Two Dollar Store like I normally do...

Yeah.
I am being facetious.

I believe in the power of Denial.

I prefer not to spend my time stressing-out about what things may or may not happen.

I prefer to simply make-believe that things aren’t all that bad … just mentally block bad thoughts out. Deal with shit if and when it happens.
“Positive Vibes”, as my mother says.

My mother has to go to a specialist next week to have one of her breasts examined, after “something of concern” was discovered during a recent check-up.

She’ll be right.
He’ll be right.
My friend’s father will be all right.
All those blog buddies’ fathers/mothers/sons who are sick/injured at the moment will be fine.

No worries.

Man.
Heavy vibes.

I feel the need to go out with a joke, or something.

VOTED BEST SHORT JOKE OF THE YEAR:

A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?"

Mama answered, "Not yet."