"If he met sleep, sleep would be a girl. For the last two nights, while walking or running over the empty country, he had dreamed of their meeting. "Lie down," she would say, and would give him her dress to lie on, stretching himself out by his side."
The problem with looking this good is that you tend to produce good-looking offspring.
That’s why the day after D-Girl was born, I had to go out and put a shotgun on lay-buy. I’m going to need it to keep all the boys away when she hits puberty.
Well, Goddamnit, now I have to go back and upgrade it to a double-barrel.
That’s right. The D-Man is populating the world one cute child at a time.
And it’s another girl.
Much earlier today, we made a mad middle-of-the-night dash to the hospital.
D-Missus was fully dilated when we got there.
One of my key responsibilities was to press the Priority Override button that rushes the elevator up to the delivery suite.
I had difficulty finding that button.
Despite it being pointed out to us repeatedly during a hospital visit several weeks ago. Despite it being a big red button right in front of my eyes, with the words “Priority Override Button” written underneath it.
Despite D-Missus yelling at me that it was right there in front of my eyes.
Got sworn at.
Then I was sure we were meant to go left out of the lifts at the Neonatal floor, to the assessment unit. D-Missus thought we should go right, directly to the delivery suite. But I was pretty sure we were meant to go left, so we went left.
We discovered we were in fact meant to go right after coming to a dead end down the end of a very long corridor.
Got sworn at.
Finally found the right place.
I was told to quickly run off and move our car from the Emergency Drop-Off Point before it got towed and then rush back.
But I got off at the wrong floor and got lost and had to sprint for 2km through lightning and thunder and nervous rain before I finally found the car. Then I had to park the car out on the road and then run back again.
Sheesh. D-Missus is right when she says that giving birth is hard work!
The new addition was born just 25 minutes later, at 3.17am, weighing in at 2.8kg (I think that converts to six thousand pounds in non-metric land).
Small, but “long in the body”. Already has more hair than me.
The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice and she looked pretty blue to begin with, but she was fine after a little oxygen.
So was I.
We’ve named her D-Other Girl.
OK, now I need sleep. Goodnight.
