“Phew, for a minute there I lost myself…”
You know, there are worse things than spending Christmas Day alone and sick.
Like spending the day after Christmas Day at the hospital emergency department being seen to by clinicians.
But, by all means, today was a very good day.
I now have a name for what I have: Ramsay Hunt Syndrome.
I don’t think there’s anyway that any illness that actually has a name and ends with the word “syndrome” can be a good thing.
Basically it’s a viral infection in a facial nerve.
As a result, I have partial facial palsy. And I’m pretty deaf in my right ear right now.
I can’t walk in a straight line.
I’m guessing this is all some sort of karmic repayment for all those jokes about retards and Mongolians and David Hasslehoff I made throughout the year.
Get a fucking sense of humour, Universal Forces of Justice!
Bah.There is a 20% chance that the medicine I am now on will not fix the palsy.
But I reckon it’ll be all OK. That side of things could take several weeks to come right even if the medicine does work.
The upside is that I now know what is wrong with me and I have been able to trade in my antibiotics (which, it turns out, would have been completely useless) for some antiviral pills, which should fix me up pretty quick.
Also, they’ve put me on steroids, so I’m currently planning a weight-lifting regime to make the most of the situation. Should go nicely with the 15kg of body mass I’ve lost over the past week.
So there you go. Every cloud, and all that…
More ways to make yourself feel like a retard:
I tried making custard today.
Let’s just say it didn’t all turn to custard…
