Sometimes it pays to assume.

I greeted an old work colleague at a wedding yesterday, giving one of my best palsified smiles.

After the obligatory how-have-you-beens were over, he disappeared.

Weird.

Much later, at the reception, he signalled me over and asked why I kept using eyedrops and turning my head sideways to people, as if I was deaf in one ear.

So I filled him in on the D-Sease .

To which he replied:

“Oh thank God, you’re ill! When you said hello you were so staunch that I thought I’d done something wrong and that you were pissed off at me for some reason.”

“No. That’s just how I smile at the moment. Sorry.”

Having said that, perhaps I do harbour him some latent ill-will…

This is a guy who, every time I bump into him, takes great pleasure in telling all those around about my first Lesbian Encounter.

I was 19, a country boy in the big city, and … a little naïve.

I’d just found out that our chief reporter was leaving our little newspaper and I asked her, with everyone else in the newsroom listening, where she was going.

“To Samoa. With my partner.”

“Oh, what’s his name?”

“Actually, HER names is…”

The old co-worker said I apparently replied with an “Oh…” and then dropped my head and started furiously tapping away at my computer, acting as if nothing happened.
Somehow they all managed to keep them selves from bursting out laughing.
Eek.

The thing is ... I knew that the chief reporter had come to our newspaper from a Gay publication. But ... maybe it was just the naivety ... I didn't assume that that meant she was gay.

But I learned my lesson that day.
Stereotypes are good.
Assuming makes you stop making an ass of you and me.

Me, especially.

And these days when some chick tells me she likes ladies, I am not shocked at all.

Instead I just drool.

Mmmmm...

It wasn't the best day for the D-Man to go on an outing ... I was exhausted, a bit deafer and slurring my paslified words more than normal*, which made conversing with people agony, but I'm glad I went.
The vows were touching and the speeches were captivating.

* That said, I am waaayyy better than when this thing first decided to possess me.

Two steps forward, one back. That's still going forward.

I mowed the lawns the other day. I was stuffed afterwards, but still.

Of course, while being physically able to mow the lawns again may be a major milestone, I'm not actually sure that I wanted to mow the lawns again. Damnit.