I can remember asking my mother when I was young why I was so ugly.

She said I was being stupid. That I was beautiful.

And that made it official. Because my momma wouldn’t lie.

In recent years I have been compared to Brad Pitt.

Actually, now I think about it, they were actually comparing me to all the psycho characters that Brad Pitt plays so well.

Bastards!

Was I going somewhere with this…?

Oh yeah.

A comment was left at seven minutes past midnight on April Fools Day, informing me that I had been nominated for a BEST OF BLOGGER, Sexiest Male Blogger award.

I instantly started preparing to post off an envelope of Evil Retribution to those smart arses, Milky and Stan.

But, following a little further investigation, it appears that someone actually did nominate me and I’m now officially in a beauty pageant with 20 other guys.

I am flattered, but, really, this is very unfair to the other guys.
How can they possibly hope to compare with the D-Man?

Inconceivable.

Were they ever captain of the Chess Club at school?
Did they ever become grandmaster at the double handed sword in Dungeons & Dragons?

Control yourselves, laydees.

So do me a favour: Go to the site and cast a vote down the right hand side for one of the other nominees.
Make someone’s day.

All it takes is one dollar a day…

My generosity has nothing to do whatsoever with the fact that I have just 5 votes and am about 150 votes behind the leading male blogger.

Maybe I need to flash my tits again…