"You are about as much fun as a divorce, which is not a bad idea!"
Dear David Hasslehoff,
I’ve been meaning to write to you.
I just wanted to let you know that I think it’s great that you beat your wife.
I was going to write to you and confess that Knight Rider was one of my favourite shows growing up, and I happened to catch a rerun yesterday, which I actually enjoyed.
I used to pretend that my BMX was Kitt.
Well, actually, I used to pretend my BMX was the General Lee, but if it had been black instead of red I probably would have pretended it was a Pontiac Trans Am.
And I would have been riding around humming the Knight Rider theme song, instead of making that Dukes of Hazzard did-da-dah-dah-dahhh, did-da-dah-dah-dahhh-dahhhh horn sound, then yelling Yeehaaaa! a lot.
And wishing I had a cousin as cute as Daisy Duke. Mmmmmm…
Where was I?
Oh yeah.
I was going to apologise for the many, many mean things I have said about you over the past year. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I think the words “Loser” and “You” came up. A lot.
But Thank God you broke your wife’s nose. Cos that means I am legally released from my New Year’s Resolution obligation to make up with you.
It’s sort of like that TV show, My Name is Earl. I can’t remember the character’s name, but this guy makes a list of all the bad things he’s done and then goes about trying to rectify them in order to get on the good side of Karma.
Except this is sort of like in reverse. You were on my list, but now you’re not.
NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!
Sorry, a little Seinfeld humour. It’s this whole other defunct show.
Loser.
Which David Hasselhoff are you?
