I saw March of the Penguins last night.

I feel a bit ripped off.

Not even one measly chomping by Killer Whale.

And there was no real political purpose for their march. They just walked into the middle of the Antarctic wilderness and had a mass orgy while pornographers filmed it all.

Which was kinda hot, I guess.

But I do now so desperately want one of those cute little baby Emperor penguins. They’re sort of like baby Ewoks, all cute and cuddly—not like those Wookies which are big, hairy and smelly.

I'm not marching to Antarctica to get one though.

Maybe I can purchase one through the internet.

Does anyone want to trade for a dolphin?

Or maybe I could just hire some midget to walk around dressed as a penguin…