You think this morning was cold, Auckland?

No. Cold is cycling to work in the cold (subtract degrees to account for wind-chill factor) and then crawling into the work shower to discover that that is actually even colder, cos some smelly fat fuck finished up their night shift with a nice hour-long hot water cylinder-draining shower.

Still. It’s only the start of winter. I’m sure it’ll get colder.

I got all excited today when I saw the blackboard specials for the company cafeteria.

I thought it said “tequila shots”. But on closer inspection, turns out it actually said “tempura fish”.

Whatever the hell that is.

Oh wait – Google says it has saki in it.

Still. Tequila shots would have been better.

A thug motorcyclist got annoyed with me yesterday because I was moving into a lane he wasn't indicating for.

He came up beside me and gave a very lewd signal, which, seeing as my wife and two young girls were in the car, could only be interpreted as being some sort of sick paedophile/ rapist gesture. So I rammed his gang-member ass into the median strip.

Road rage that, fool!

Yeah.

Back to work after a long weekend.
Queen’s Birthday weekend.

It’s not actually her birthday. But we went and partied like it was her birthday. We sipped Bacardi like it was her birthday. And we didn’t even give a fuck that it wasn’t her birthday.

She’s like a hundred, or something.

The D-Family went to the Zoo.

The giraffe scared D-Gurl by poking its long tongue out at her to grab the celery stick she was holding for it.

D-gurl has embellished the story somewhat to try and get maximum sympathy out of people. She’s been going around telling people that the giraffe actually bit her.

The story started out that it bit her on the hand, but it’s graduated to her lifting up her shirt and trying to tell people that the mosquito bite on her chest is actually the giraffe bite.

She’ll make a great journalist some day. Or a US president.

And we also saw the monkeys…