Kids
Waking
In the middle
Of the night, You
Put one down
And then
The next one starts up
And then
The alarm clock goes, Why
Did the Government outlaw
Sleeperholds?

D-Girl got her first haircut on the weekend, courtesy of my mother.

We figured it was time she got a little chop, before some boy was able to climb up her hair and rescue her from the castle keep.

I must admit, I was a little nervous. What, with my mother’s specialty during my upbringing being bowlcuts and all.

And she let me grow a mullet when I was 14. What the hell was she thinking?!

Anyway.

D-girl surprised us by sitting still and not ending up with a big hunk chopped out of our hair (both me and my father learned that lesson the hard way), and she loves her new ‘do.

The scissors also stole a lock from D-Other Girl’s hair. D-Other Girl also gets called Baby Ginge, on account of her red hair. D-Missus also has red hair. So does my mother.

My mother has kept a lock of her hair from when she was a teenager, about a hundred years ago.

She felt compelled to dig it out and compare it to the small chunk of D-Other Girl’s.

This scared D-Missus. Probably because the first time I took her home to meet my parents, my mother produced that same decades-dead clump of hair and held it against hers.

D-Missus is terrified that after my mother dies, that clump of hair is going to be passed on to us, to look after.

That it is going to be our

Inhairintence.

On the way home from the visit, we played that Spot The Car driving game.

I suck at this game, because, despite once upon a time having a cool job driving cool cars…

…I know Fuck All about cars.

In fact, when the family of mechanically minded people I come from found out about that job, their reaction was something along the lines of “What the fuck is he doing driving those things -- He knows fuck all about cars”.

I’ll say something’s a Toyota, when it’s actually a Mazda.
(They’re both Japanese – they all look the same to me).

This extends to trying to tell people about the cool car driving job I had, and the cars I drove.

“Um…. well there was this car … it had a horse badge, and it was … red. It went sorta fast…”

“Ummm, well, there was this other car. I think it’s actually used as a cop car in America, cos it had the 911 emergency services number on the back. It had a chick’s name though.”

But anyway. When you’re doing a bank job, it’s not like you need to know much about cars. Just how to drive fast. And dodge road spikes.