I’m back.
My clothes smell like whisky.
Because a bottle of black label leaked in my backpack.
Which should make returning to work tomorrow interesting.
But then, when don’t my clothes smell of whisky…?
I just spent 28 minutes trying to remember my email password.
I just kept tapping in various combinations until I got it right.
That’s what taking 12-days off from the internet does to me.
Which should make returning to work tomorrow interesting.
I can’t remember the login for my work computer, either.
I think it has something to do with ninjas. Or wookies. Or boobies.
“SpanKy69R”?
I’ll have to see if that works.
What did I do in the holidays?
I’ll tell you what I didn’t do:
I didn’t take performance-enhancing drugs and then win a major road cycling race.
(I came last so they didn’t bother testing me).
And I didn’t get drunk and go out driving in a car and get pulled over by cops and then blame it on The Jews.
(No. Everyone knows Eskimos are to blame for the world’s woes).
Anyways.
Australians are funny.
The two major current events items dominating the newspapers and TV news over there:
There’s a banana shortage, so bananas now cost $15 a kg.
(Yes, they have no bananas…)
and
They have a serious water shortage and the government wants to use recycled sewerage water to help solve the problem. People aren’t too happy about that. They don’t want to drink poo water.
(I don’t know what the fucking problem is. If you’ve ever tried Australian beer, then you’ve already drunk shit.)
: )
Oh, and get this.
When I travel, I find I take on the accent of the local peoples. It’s some weird assimilation thing I do.
But now I can’t stop talking through my nasal passages. Fair dinkum, it’s driving me crazy.
No one actually mistook me for an Australian though, what with the whole being extremely happy when the NZ rugby team beat the Australian rugby team. And the wearing of shorts and singlets and going for a “sweem in thee pewl” when it is still winter down here. But a Queensland winter is like an NZ summer, anyway. Nice 24 degree Celsius days. I think that’s 500 degrees in Fahrenheit. Whatever the fuck Fahrenheit is.
And the best part – it turns out that the weather has been so god awful here in Auckland while we’ve been away, so yay. Glad to miss cycling in that.
The break was great. My kids are over their illnesses. Although it took them several days to get used to the 2 hour time difference and stop waking up at 5am.
!
Next year we will go for longer. And take chloroform.
I was sad this morning when we were getting ready to leave for the airport. The sunrise was like a nuclear explosion. Mmmm, toasty.
Anyway. I’m off to bed.
I'm tired.
I have a headache.
I need a holiday.
