These have been black days, days where I haven’t had much to say
Or days where I’ve had things to say but didn’t feel like saying them
Or I did feel like saying them, but they were mean things that I didn’t really mean
And shouldn’t have said
Like that fight the other night
I’ve been so sick and tired lately
And I’ve been tired and sick
And sick of being sick
And tired of being tired
I’ve had no passion for the things I’m passionate about, it’s
Almost as though I never cared about them at all
And I work in a nothing job
With people who do nothing but infuriate me
But we have a lake and a lot of native trees
And today I finally caught sight of a bird that has haunted me my entire life
Lurking, watching like
A long-dead friend or missing family pet…
When I was young and owned a forest the melody would follow me, but
The musician always remained out of sight
And it still stalks me even though I’m now in the city
And it always makes me stop and listen
For no reason other than to think, hey
That’s That bird,
Where the fuck is it?
And
Is it following me?
Then today I finally caught a glimpse, in a Kowhai tree
So small for such a powerful song,
Then it turned and said to me
Dude, it’s spring
Soon the leaves will return…
And then a flick of feathers and it was gone
And so was its song
And I smiled
And thought of the days I love best
Those first days of spring where this southern world is still frozen, but the
Sun comes out and plants gentle warm kisses on the back of your neck
And I sat down and closed my eyes
And meditated for the first time in a long time
And as I imagined my spirit exploding from my body
The clouds rolled on and my eyelids were blasted with a fiery synchronicity
And I opened them and blinked like a bear crawling out of a long hibernation
And I smiled and said
Welcome back.