The politicians down these parts have been busy flinging cowpoo-covered gumboots at each other lately.

They’ve been spreading a lot of malicious gossip about each other – “vile, baseless” gossip that the “despicable” media worms have wasted no time repeating in the public arena.

Vile, baseless gossip that I shall now repeat here:

The Prime Minister of New Zealand is a woman-who-likes-women, who is sham-married to a man-who-likes-men–more-than-he-likes-women; the leader of the opposition – who cheated on his first wife – has, SHOCKHORROR cheated on his second wife; the minister of Foreign Affairs hates foreigners; some chick MP used to be a man with a dick before she became a chick; and some Green MPs smoke marijuana in their spare time.

Shocking stuff indeed.

Some people are questioning why our elected representatives are using their tax-payer-funded time to engage in petty personal politics, when all that energy could be better spent building bigger roads and keeping the Japanese away from our whales.

To which I reply:

Shut up fools, and pass me my popcorn!

ARE YE NOT ENTERTAINED?