What Exactly have I got against Eskimos?

I’m fucking sick of seeing them on TV, quite frankly.

Ever since before I can remember, I’ve had to listen to people going on and on about how poor and hungry and skinny and starving and dying the drought and famine-stricken Eskimo people are.

Cut to a TV advert close-up of flies sucking the salty goodness from the sweltering eyeballs of an Eskimo child, as an announcer announces that all it takes to save them is a dollar a day.

Like it’s my fault they’re starving, or something.

They say charity begins at home, and to be honest, there are plenty of poor people I’d rather ignore in my own country first, before I go wasting my apathy on some Eskimo family in Africa.

If it’s too hot for you there, why don’t you just move somewhere cooler, where there are less flies? And more food? D’uh.

Some people just don't know nothing.

Meanwhile, a little girl waits…

And have I mentioned how disappointed I was to not win the Nobel Peace Prize, yet again?

Oh well. Next time, maybe.