My car got broken into last night.

They smashed the rear quarter-light window, then that got them nowhere, so they busted the driver’s door lock.

The car wasn’t worth stealing as it only had enough gas in it to travel 2.3 km, and so they left empty-handed.

They didn’t touch my CDs. Or stereo.

I’ve never been so insulted in all my life!

The bill for the damage is going to be $300. The excess on my insurance is $300.
Ack.

Why couldn’t they just have destroyed the whole fucking piece of shit and I could have cashed the insurance cheque in for a motorbike?

Or some fried chicken and beer. And a big bag of weed.

The window and lock are still broken (fucking mechanics!), so I’m staying up on guard tonight with my Samurai sword, just in case they come back for another go.

You don’t mess with a ninja’s car.

The little bastards shall learn this the hard way.

My brother-in-law locked his keys in his car on the weekend.

He had to call out a mobile mechanic to help.

The mechanic arrived, took one look and said “That’s your problem, right there”.

Yes, the keys were locked in the car, but the rear right window was also fully down.

D’uh.