I'm thinking about giving up reading the morning newspapers.

Why not?

I gave up writing the shit that goes into them.

Today’s world section:

* A mother is charged with murdering her baby after, allegedly, putting it in the microwave.

* A teacher is dragged from his home, partly disembowelled and then torn apart and his remains put on display because he defied the Taliban and dared to accept girls as students.

* Greg quits The Wiggles because he has a fucked-up heart.

Then again… without reading stories like this, I’d never have been inspired to write stuff like this: