I've often fantasized about playing Cupid, the friendly stalker.

Send a thousand valentines and watch their minds play tricks on them...

Today, someone lived out my fantasy.

They stayed back late at work last night and then, when the keyboards were all sleeping, placed a Hershey's Kiss on all those belonging the ladies.

A lovely little surprise.
Which sparked much speculation about who the mysterious Company Valentino was.

I was high up on that list of suspects.

Until I threw out the suggestion that the Giver could actually be a "lesbiyummmm".

And until I educated everyone about the truth behind Valentines Day.

Which is that in the year 496, Pope Hallmark I created the saint known as Valentine out of the scattered remains of long-dead Christian martyrs.

He did so to displace the existing pagan celebrations, one of which involved running naked through the streets and playfully hitting people with shaggy thongs. Which sounds like a lot of fun.

(The Bible does not say whether the shaggy thongs were of the footwear or underwear variety).

The newly-created Valentine's Day also served as an ideal launching pad for the fledgling papal greeting card business.

The D-Man does not endorse the suppression of other people's beliefs, and that's why the D-Man does not support Valentine's Day.

It has nothing to do with the fact that I am cheap and just simply can't be arsed.

Besides. Next weekend it's D-Missus' birthday.
And then the following weekend it's our 90th wedding anniversary.

So it's not like there's not plenty of other romantic opportunities for me to ignore.