Winter is here, like a cloud so heavy, the sky can't hope to hold it up, and so it falls, black and angry, screaming all the way…

Bleh.

It really is a Neil-Finn-Four-Seasons-In-One-Day here.

A couple of days ago I was marvelling at how beautiful things were. The air was cold, but warm and still, because the sun was still there, and I realised how much I loved escaping with my guitar during my morning break, and it wasn't so much about playing guitar or being on my own, it was about taking time out and just being.

That's sort of been ruined now.

Everyone at my work takes twice as long for their breaks then what they're meant to. The managers are the worst offenders.

But carrying a guitar case around is kind of high profile and my boss had an unofficial word with me to point out that it was obvious that I was taking long breaks.
I was insulted, considering she takes longer breaks than me. There are also at least four other people who play guitar during their breaks, for the same length of time, but it was only me who was being picked on, so What The Fuck and Fuck You.

It's kind of tainted the whole experience for me now. And set off a bout of blues that I rarely experience these days.

It would have helped for my wife to throw me a little bit of sympathy when I got home, but she didn't, and so that made things worse.
And I realised that although I have a lot of good friends, her aside, I don't really have anyone else that I would call a best friend.

But anyway. Sometimes it's just the little things that stand as a big symbol of the differences between people.

There's also some restructuring going on in my group at work. This probably means demotion for some of the managers. It doesn't affect me in that way as such. It could actually be good for my position, except my boss, whom I have long viewed as a sinking ship, is campaigning to keep me reporting to directly to her; campaigning to keep the shackles clamped tight as the waves wave hello.

Ack.
I could shake this easy. Maybe I'm just tired and bored.
Maybe I just miss the comfort in being sad.
I'm sitting here in the garage singing Pearl Jam songs by myself.
Drifting off and doing all those things that we all do…
Music, sweet music, I wish I could caress. Caress…
Different artist now. Heh. MANic D-pression…

But it's alright; I'll pick myself up before I hit the floor.

The little things bring joy:

Hearing that absent friends are well;

My daughter proving she can climb better than kids more than twice her age;

Beating a friend in American 8-ball pool, 10 games to 1;

Having my favourite ex-All Black rugby player not dying after a night out on the piss;

You know what I need?

I need to win the lottery, so I don't have to worry about work bullshit anymore.

We bought a ticket last weekend.
I told my wife that I knew we were going to win.
We did.
Twenty-two dollars.

Now, if I can use my psychico powers to do that another 10,000 times, I should be able to retire. Sweet.

It's no crime to escape…

Know what else I need?

A hug.

(Thank you.)

Hang on… did you just squeeze my ass?

Shame about the guitar.

Some girls at work wanted me to play for them.

I think they wanted to be my gropeys.

Mmmmm.

Well.
I knew letting my fingers do the talking would help.

I‘m better already.

The sun just came out again.

Don't it make me smile.

This is how I feel…