My tongue keeps slipping and tripping and twisting its ankles and stepping in stinking, steaming piles of malaplops.

For example, earlier today I was trying to have an intelligent economic discussion and then talked about a period when the left-leaning government's actions actually lead to us becoming a more “cannibalist society”, when I meant “capitalist”.

Same diff, I guess.

Although I think a cannabis society would be even better.

Then I mentioned how my wife went to a Makeout Party, when I meant “makeup”. Unless I got it right first time and she actually did go to a makeout party. Hmmmm.

Some others uttered:

"That dickhead thinks his race car is faster than everyone else's. He's a racist."

“What the Helvetica?”

I've also found myself making words up:

Misteradventure: When you discover that the girl is actually a guy.
(This happened to a friend of mine).

Embrarrassed: When you get your drunken tits out in front of a video camera during Spring Break and the scene later appears in a DVD.

Interesthing: When you want to say That thing is interesting.

OK. Getting even more pathetic.

I was also trying to put together some grammar lessons for my student. The internet offered this definition of VERB: an action word. E.g., sit, laugh, screw.

Heh.

Verbing is my favourite thing.

Mmmmm.

I often greet people with a “What's up, my ninja?”.

I've lately found others are also adopting the saying.

It's certainly more popular that the short-lived “What's up, my niggard?”. But I guess people would rather be called a ninja than a stingy person.

The Pacific Island boys at work often greet me with a “What's up, my nigger?”, though.

I'm not sure what to make of that. Perhaps they're colour blind. Which is nice.
Or, perhaps, as has happened in the past, they think I am a fellow Cheeky Darky.
I don't know why.

It's normally the ladies who think I have a bit of darkness in me.

Because I'm so huge.