Yep.

I almost didn’t go to work today.

It’s sort of like when the petrol light comes on and you think, nah, I’ll just push it and see how far I can get.

Would have been nice, though.

With taking Friday off and Monday being a public holiday, it was already an extra-long long weekend.

And what’s better than an extra-long long weekend?

That’s right: an extra-extra-long long weekend.

But then… sometimes work is a nice escape.

But then … sometimes it isn’t.

A bit of tension in the workplace at the moment.

New Guy is talking about quitting already and he’s pretty much the only person left who isn’t a dick, and when he talks about quitting, then I start thinking about quitting. And when I start thinking about quitting, I then start thinking about winning the lottery so that I don’t have to start another new job, which I would probably start thinking about quitting within a few weeks any way.

There was a cripple at work today. He’s a temp. He had one of those chairs with the wheels on it.

Yay! The company spent millions of dollars on cripilizing the site and making sure it was accessible for chairs with wheels and someone finally gets to fucking use it!

I don’t think he used one of the 15 handicap parking spaces right out front though. I think a taxi dropped him off.

He had a nice wheel chair. But I reckon I could still beat him in a race on my pushbike.

(But just to make sure, I’d let one of his tyres down first. You gotta think about these things.)

New Guy has been having a lot of women trouble lately.

I suggested that maybe he should consider turning gay instead.

Because then I could say to people that I sit next to a gay guy at work, and they would go “Oh wow, you’re so tolerant, sorry for mistakenly thinking you were some sort of Hate Criminal.”

New Guy doesn’t like that idea.
But one of his flatmates is gay. So I guess I can say that I sit next to a guy who flats with a guy who is a bum chum.

So there.

I’m just trying to see how many people I can insult in a single post.

Is it bad that I feel good when the island boys at work call me “Boss”?

Crazy fools – I’m not even their boss!

But it makes me feel like I’m a manager, or something.

Religion?
I’m taller than Jesus.

Best estimates put him at six-feet-tall.

What a short ass.

And I turn water into beer all the time, but does anyone go and write a book about me?

Whatever.

If you whack off to a photograph of a naked hermaphrodite, does that make you bisexual?

I was driving behind a car that was being driven slow and dangerously yesterday. I said to D-Missus, “I bet the driver is old, Asian, and a woman.”

When I pulled alongside, turns out I was right on all counts!

OK, I’m done.
Take your D-sgust elsewhere.

:)