I spied an opened packet of crisps in the pantry tonight and thought Sweet, I Could Really Go An Old Skool Chip Sandwhich Right Now, so I got the bread out of the freezer and went to put it in the microwave to defrost it, but I actually ended up putting it in the toaster and by time I realized I had put it in the toaster and not the microwave, well, I had toast. And you don’t put crisps on toast. So I had to have toast and jam instead. Which wasn’t what I wanted at all. And by time I had finished the toast, I was full. A full fool.

Also, do you ever find yourself saying to yourself “Seriously– why The Fuck did I just put a teasoon of coffee in the jam jar?!”?

Or words to that effect…