They say you shouldn't knock it till you’ve tried it.

Well, a good friend of mine, whom I used to work with, took up drinking Regular Soy Flat Whites just before he stopped working where I work, which I thought was kinda gay, but he’s not around anymore and I was thinking about him today… not in a gay way … no I was thinking how he used to drink Regular Soy Flat White coffees … and how that was gay … and then I thought, well that’s a little unfair… maybe I should try one, just to, you know… see what it’s like, and stuff.
So I whispered my order to the cute check out coffee girl.
She yelled out my order when it was ready and SHAME, everyone turned and looked and it felt like I’d been outted or something and I scuttled away with my baseball cap pulled down low over my head.

How was it?

Not entirely unpleasant.
Bits of it reminded me of musky old billy goat, though. Not in an animal-molestation way. No. I mean, the taste of drinking bits of it in part reminded me of how horny old wild woolly mountain goats smell. I don’t know why. Perhaps it has something to do with the way they milk the Soy goats, or cows, or whatever the fuck Soy actually is.

But anyway, my point is, I’ve tried it, and now I’m knocking it.

Yeah.